Many people who want to get into bondage simply don’t know what the basics of it are. While they might think that bondage is extremely sexy to look at or have very involved fantasies about it, they might not understand what it entails. That’s what learning and research is all about. You can look at all the bondage you want on sites like KinkRed.com, but that isn’t necessarily going to teach you anything. Find out if it is a scam here: tiemeupnow.com/sites/kinkred/. Learn more about the top dating site, where you can find a guide that can properly educate you about what bondage will do for you, and how you can come to enjoy it in a safe, consensual, and sane manner with a partner who is just as interested in bondage as you are.
Bondage Isn’t Just About Power and Control
While bondage can be extremely fetishized for some people who are into dominant and submissive roles, that doesn’t always have to be the case. Bondage doesn’t have to be about a power dynamic, though in many cases, it certainly is. There is always something more vulnerable about a person that is laid out before you and bound and gagged. That is what many people end up first enjoying about the idea of bondage.
That being said, bondage can also be done for an aesthetic purpose. The art of shibari, for example, doesn’t necessarily mean that the bound individual is the one who is the submissive. Many submissive personalities can be the ones talented at shibari designs, and they might show submission and worship towards their dominant partners by decorating them in the ropes they have carefully trained in how to use. This aesthetic is considered an art form, and very beautiful by many people. It has very little to do with power, unless the partner wearing the ropes is bound in a way that leaves them vulnerable, and their dominant is the one controlling the binding itself.
When you are looking at bondage, the usual case is for there to be a definite power dynamic, though. Just remember this isn’t always the case, and there are even dominants that enjoy some traditionally submissive actions, like being gagged while they are controlling their submissives. Bondage is all about what both partners want. That is why it never needs to be set in stone about any one thing.
Bondage Is Not Something That Needs to Be Impromptu
Many people seem to think that it’s entirely acceptable to leap into a bondage situation without planning anything first. While you might think its romantic, this can actually be quite scary for your partner. That’s why there needs to be a great deal of discussion about consent play before the two of you start heading into your new bondage ventures.
In general, bondage and consent play go hand and hand. If you have never touched base with consent play, it’s time to start researching that as well. Consent play is usually the act of the submissive partner being taken advantage of in their fantasies, and being forced into doing something that they really don’t want to do. Remember, this is all a fantasy, but the fact that your partner will be saying “no” and telling you to stop for the duration of it means that the two of you need to set ground rules into place before you dive into a scenario like this. Looking at bondage won’t help you with this sort of thing. It’s all about talking to your partner and figuring out exactly what they want and what they are comfortable with in general.
This brings us to the next point of bondage. It is one of the most important things, if not the most important thing that you need to realize: safe words are necessary. It doesn’t matter if your submissive partner trusts you with every fiber of their being and you are both a loving couple outside of the bedroom. Safe words are there to protect your submissive partner, because sometimes, they don’t realize their own limits until you have pushed them far past those limits.
Safe Words Are Paramount
If you’ve never heard of safe words, it’s time to go back to bondage 101. Safe words are what are used when your partner has reached their limit, or really, when they have surpassed it. They are also used when your partner feels uncomfortable in any way in the situation that they are in. Your safe word should be a word that you otherwise wouldn’t use in the sexual situation that the two of you are currently in, and that can vary wildly depending on the situation. For example, if spaghetti is normally your partner’s safe word, then you might want to reconsider that in the heat of some messy food play. In general, though, safe words can stay constant throughout your bondage scenarios, but just be aware of what they are, and definitely have them in place no matter how much trust your submissive places on you.
Planned Scenarios Are Your Bread and Butter
Many people that jump into the world of bondage don’t realize how important planning your scenarios actually is. By planning out your scenarios, you are creating a road map of what you would like to do for the evening, and this can be extremely satisfying for both you and your submissive in both the short and long haul. This also prompts healthy conversation about what both of you want out of your sex lives, and this is what will make you have better sex than anyone else that you know – we guarantee it. Planning out your bondage scenarios will, in general, make everything go extremely smoothly for your bondage-filled evening, and you will also already have everything that you need right here in front of you. While you might not be a planner in everyday life, planning in bondage is really something that you should get used to in order to please yourself as well as your partner to the highest degree.
How Do I Find the Right Partner?
Many men struggle with this question, and end up never acting on their bondage fantasies. This shouldn’t be an issue in this day and age when there are so many different sites on the internet that will cater to helping you find the right partner for your sexual needs. There are many, many women available out there and looking for a man just like you to help them act out their own bondage fantasies, and it’s just a matter of knowing what you want and going out there and getting it.
That being said, you should always be well-researched before going onto one of these sites and attempting to take a submissive home with you. Always, always make sure that you discuss what the two of you want well in advance before you meet up and realize that whoops, the two of you aren’t compatible after all. The right partner for you will always be willing to discuss the scenarios that you have in mind, and you should always be willing to discuss what they have in mind as well. If you start off like this, it’s an amazing beginning to all of the bondage fantasies you have to fulfill.